Query: I need to kill myself?

28 12 months outdated feminine. Simply received out of a three month relationship with a married couple. Each are ex hobo ex meth addicts. It was once purported to be simply the spouse and I. We had been each attracted to one another, and he authorized. His reason used to be if she had intercourse with me, it would make her need to have intercourse with him.she hadn’t been within the temper for intercourse,she simply gave delivery to their 2nd youngster. We did not want him concerned. She even instructed me that males disgusted her (she used to be additionally raped as a toddler). He bought concerned as a result of he used to be afraid she used to be going to depart him for me, as a result of we fell in love with every different. I went together with it, and had emotions for him too. Issues had been nice for some time. I was once a 2nd mother to their 2 yr previous and newborn sons. They even made plans to have a child with ME. 2 weeks in the past, they kicked me out, claiming I “pinned them towards every different”. This additionally came about with me shedding my automotive and job (neither of them drove), so it used to be again to bikes for them. She accused me of hanging a blanket over the child’s face and she or he received this from asking her “imaginary good friend” Eugene. She mentioned I did it whereas I used to be psychotic, and did not needless to say. In addition they made me stop taking my antidepressants claiming they made me loopy. I referred to as CPS (which I remorseful about now) once I left as a result of she hits the two 12 months previous, there is pot being smoked, and he makes use of the two yr previous’s urine to move drug exams. I needed to go to the psych ward for every week. I will’t let go of this and I wish to die. I nonetheless love her. I blame myself for the whole lot

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