Help fix my screwed up head in yahoo questions? Sorry but I'm desperate?
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Six months ago I worked a 9-5 job and found myself losing it at work, always angry with people, always judging in my head, hating a lot of them.I refused to look at my body. I don't have a license to drive, I'm scared of trying.... In any case. I drank, smoked cigs and used chew. I decided to change things dramatically, I knew I was running full speed into a wall and had to stop. So I left my job and started focusing on slowing improving myself. I stopped drinking, smoking and finally I stopped chewing. I finally began to diet. The last three months have included just one routine.
Wake 510am
Work out on bike and life weights till 930
Eat two 1 gram fat everything bagels with fat few cheese and low fat turkey
12:30pm to 5pm work out on bike
7pm Sleep
Everyday for three months and I lost over 90 pounds. But my mind is worse. My heart is in constant pain, feels as if It beats to fast, it hurts, making my anger worse than ever. And for the first time in months I didn't work out and slept in... All I want to do is die... I can't handle anything anymore and just want to sleep. I find myself looking at myself in the mirror and cursing myself in anger at how disgusting I feel I look. Which amazes me since I lost so much..
I told myself I'd join the army and have been waiting till I'll Lose another 30 pounds. I am joining the army cause I feel its the only way my life can have value. I wont find someone, wont have kids, wont have a happy loving life. I'm lost... Please do not be cruel
http://ift.tt/1usKzhJ
<span class="qna-sprite abDescExpandIcon"/>
Six months ago I worked a 9-5 job and found myself losing it at work, always angry with people, always judging in my head, hating a lot of them.I refused to look at my body. I don't have a license to drive, I'm scared of trying.... In any case. I drank, smoked cigs and used chew. I decided to change things dramatically, I knew I was running full speed into a wall and had to stop. So I left my job and started focusing on slowing improving myself. I stopped drinking, smoking and finally I stopped chewing. I finally began to diet. The last three months have included just one routine.
Wake 510am
Work out on bike and life weights till 930
Eat two 1 gram fat everything bagels with fat few cheese and low fat turkey
12:30pm to 5pm work out on bike
7pm Sleep
Everyday for three months and I lost over 90 pounds. But my mind is worse. My heart is in constant pain, feels as if It beats to fast, it hurts, making my anger worse than ever. And for the first time in months I didn't work out and slept in... All I want to do is die... I can't handle anything anymore and just want to sleep. I find myself looking at myself in the mirror and cursing myself in anger at how disgusting I feel I look. Which amazes me since I lost so much..
I told myself I'd join the army and have been waiting till I'll Lose another 30 pounds. I am joining the army cause I feel its the only way my life can have value. I wont find someone, wont have kids, wont have a happy loving life. I'm lost... Please do not be cruel
http://ift.tt/1usKzhJ
via Smart Health Shop Forum http://ift.tt/1u3muAJ
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