So my partner is a skydiver/former BASE jumper who plans on returning to BASE jumping soon. All throughout our relationship, these things have been one of the biggest sources of tension for us and have almost broken us up a few times.
I have tried to be supportive of the skydiving because I realize a lot of people do it. But he already broke his spine once in a skydiving accident (last spring). I thought it might scare him straight, but no, he was more determined than ever to keep skydiving AND start basejumping again after his accident. Breaking his back could have killed/paralyzed him. The doctors said he was incredibly lucky. It also cost a lot in medical bills.
For a long time, I said if he went back to base jumping again, I would leave him. Eventually I realized that he would choose basejumping over me so I gave up on that ultimatum and decided to just deal with it when the time comes. He's never actually base jumped since we've been together. He just brings it up over and over, even though I've asked him to please not talk about it because it gives me anxiety and makes me upset. When he brings it up, I get upset and he then uses that as a reason why I'm no good and he shouldn't be with me.
Keep in mind, i'm not talking about legal basejumping off certain bridges or towers around the world. He is going to be doing ILLEGAL jumps of cell phone towers and things like that. Basically what that means is, he's going to be getting up at 3am, driving out to some cell phone tower in the woods, climbing it, jumping off it with a parachute--all on his own. You can be arrested for this. You can also easily be killed.
I love my partner and don't understand why he's so desperate to do these activities that could cause him such harm, especially after he already broke his back once. I asked him last night, "How can you not understand that the people who love you don't want to have to find out your body was splattered all over the ground because you jumped off something and your parachute didn't open in time?"
And he responded, "I don't want to be told what to do. And it makes me question if it's even worth it for me to have you around."
As if I'm nothing but an inconvenience to him because I love him and don't want him to do these dangerous things???? It was such a selfish thing to say that I told him to go fuck himself and locked myself in the bedroom. If you really think it's not "worth it" to have people who love you around because they might be against you purposefully getting yourself killed, then you truly deserve to be alone.
This has been going on for years and he still hasn't base jumped and when he does, I still don't know if it's going to break us up. I have so much stress just thinking about it. Not only because of the danger, but because he plans on spending thousands of dollars of our hard-earned money to fly to some other part of the world to do base jumping classes. That money could be spent on our home, things we need, medical care for me, etc.
I don't know... I just needed to vent. I'm so tired of how he acts sometimes... I try so hard to just let go and be like "if he dies, he dies." But I can't! I love him! If he died it would RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER! If he got arrested, it would destroy us financially. It's my life too.
If this was your partner, what would you do? What would you do if they were insistent on doing a dangerous, expensive and illegal sport against your wishes?
I have tried to be supportive of the skydiving because I realize a lot of people do it. But he already broke his spine once in a skydiving accident (last spring). I thought it might scare him straight, but no, he was more determined than ever to keep skydiving AND start basejumping again after his accident. Breaking his back could have killed/paralyzed him. The doctors said he was incredibly lucky. It also cost a lot in medical bills.
For a long time, I said if he went back to base jumping again, I would leave him. Eventually I realized that he would choose basejumping over me so I gave up on that ultimatum and decided to just deal with it when the time comes. He's never actually base jumped since we've been together. He just brings it up over and over, even though I've asked him to please not talk about it because it gives me anxiety and makes me upset. When he brings it up, I get upset and he then uses that as a reason why I'm no good and he shouldn't be with me.
Keep in mind, i'm not talking about legal basejumping off certain bridges or towers around the world. He is going to be doing ILLEGAL jumps of cell phone towers and things like that. Basically what that means is, he's going to be getting up at 3am, driving out to some cell phone tower in the woods, climbing it, jumping off it with a parachute--all on his own. You can be arrested for this. You can also easily be killed.
I love my partner and don't understand why he's so desperate to do these activities that could cause him such harm, especially after he already broke his back once. I asked him last night, "How can you not understand that the people who love you don't want to have to find out your body was splattered all over the ground because you jumped off something and your parachute didn't open in time?"
And he responded, "I don't want to be told what to do. And it makes me question if it's even worth it for me to have you around."
As if I'm nothing but an inconvenience to him because I love him and don't want him to do these dangerous things???? It was such a selfish thing to say that I told him to go fuck himself and locked myself in the bedroom. If you really think it's not "worth it" to have people who love you around because they might be against you purposefully getting yourself killed, then you truly deserve to be alone.
This has been going on for years and he still hasn't base jumped and when he does, I still don't know if it's going to break us up. I have so much stress just thinking about it. Not only because of the danger, but because he plans on spending thousands of dollars of our hard-earned money to fly to some other part of the world to do base jumping classes. That money could be spent on our home, things we need, medical care for me, etc.
I don't know... I just needed to vent. I'm so tired of how he acts sometimes... I try so hard to just let go and be like "if he dies, he dies." But I can't! I love him! If he died it would RUIN MY LIFE FOREVER! If he got arrested, it would destroy us financially. It's my life too.
If this was your partner, what would you do? What would you do if they were insistent on doing a dangerous, expensive and illegal sport against your wishes?
via Smart Health Shop Forum http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SmartHealthShopForum/~3/To4nmI3KqZ4/8899-how-would-you-feel-if-your-partner-wanted-base-jump-any-other-dangerous-sport.html
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