So often when we have a parent or other loved one with memory impairment we go all out to keep them safe and not scared, nor left alone for long periods of time. We take turns with other family members trying to keep them in their own home as long as possible.
When they talk nonsense or are confused, or angry, we hold our tongues and patiently listen and try to figure out what they are trying to say. We hold and hug them, to keep them close so they don't slip away faster and get to that point we all dread, when they do not know us anymore.
Each day brings new challenges. Forgetting how to make a cup of coffee and work the microwave, how to put bread in a toaster. How to use a phone book or turn on the tv. At first they demand to do things themselves and yell and get angry, when we try to help. Then as time goes on they either mellow out or get violent and run away.
But what of our mental health? How do we cope with the stress and the worry and the loss?
How do we forgive ourselves for not being able to make it stop or not being able to make them understand what is wrong and it won't get better?
For me it is a terrible sadness and heartache. Each day I spend with this loved one is a day I treasure. For will she remember me tomarrow or not? How much longer will she be here with me.
And how will I live without her. I am crying, as I write this for I can not answer these questions and the sadness will be unbearable when she is gone. I pray each day for the strength and the courage, to face what lies ahead and not let it overwhelm me.
I went grocery shopping and when I got home she asked me "Where did my mother go?" I looked puzzled, and said, "Your mother was here?" And she replied "Yes, just a minute ago, she was in the hallway, didn't you see her?" I thought carefully before answering her, because her mother died in 1972. And though heavy in heart I said "That was nice of her to visit you."
Later on, we talked about it some more and she knew her mother was gone and thought perhapes she had fallen asleep and dreamed the whole thing. And that was the end of another day of confusion.
Has anyone here gone through this and do you have any coping skills to share with me?
When they talk nonsense or are confused, or angry, we hold our tongues and patiently listen and try to figure out what they are trying to say. We hold and hug them, to keep them close so they don't slip away faster and get to that point we all dread, when they do not know us anymore.
Each day brings new challenges. Forgetting how to make a cup of coffee and work the microwave, how to put bread in a toaster. How to use a phone book or turn on the tv. At first they demand to do things themselves and yell and get angry, when we try to help. Then as time goes on they either mellow out or get violent and run away.
But what of our mental health? How do we cope with the stress and the worry and the loss?
How do we forgive ourselves for not being able to make it stop or not being able to make them understand what is wrong and it won't get better?
For me it is a terrible sadness and heartache. Each day I spend with this loved one is a day I treasure. For will she remember me tomarrow or not? How much longer will she be here with me.
And how will I live without her. I am crying, as I write this for I can not answer these questions and the sadness will be unbearable when she is gone. I pray each day for the strength and the courage, to face what lies ahead and not let it overwhelm me.
I went grocery shopping and when I got home she asked me "Where did my mother go?" I looked puzzled, and said, "Your mother was here?" And she replied "Yes, just a minute ago, she was in the hallway, didn't you see her?" I thought carefully before answering her, because her mother died in 1972. And though heavy in heart I said "That was nice of her to visit you."
Later on, we talked about it some more and she knew her mother was gone and thought perhapes she had fallen asleep and dreamed the whole thing. And that was the end of another day of confusion.
Has anyone here gone through this and do you have any coping skills to share with me?
via Smart Health Shop Forum http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SmartHealthShopForum/~3/hlZJ5fX8Q9g/9277-keeping-mentally-healthy-while-caring-loved-one-dementia.html
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